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We went in, picking up our clothes on the way. I was going to get dressed, but the others dropped their clothes in a heap on a chair inside the door, so I did likewise. I felt a little odd, walking around someone else’s house nude, especially with three other girls there. But it was all so easy and free, I went along with it. Reena was telling us about one of the guys she went out with, and the size of his prick. She made him seem like a super-stud, with a monster of a prick and able to fuck all night. Harpreet kept squirming around on the barstool, making the seat swivel back and forth. Each time she swung around, her large breasts brushed the cold counter top, and I could see how hard her nipples were. I was getting aroused by it too. Then, without any hints or suggestions, Reena made an announcement. “Let’s all take a shower.” She said with a playful look in her eye. Harpreet and Reena were dashing for the bathroom, and Nisha told me to come along, walking behind them. I followed,. ? What amI now....does it even matter?I don't care, I'm going there with him, you only live once one life tolive, and all that, and well, it turns me on. Go away, shameful feelingsand guilt over stuff I have no control over. I'm a good person I know Iam...and It turns me on, and him too, and after all those years ofpurging and shame I met someone special who..oh FUCKK!!!!...shut up!!! Iyelled at myself...and told myself to breathe and enjoy it, stopworrying, only joy together with him so far...all the worry is in me,it's not him, it's in me....My long walks were sometimes more confusing than enlightening, but theyalways made me feel better, and calmer eventually, and more willing tojust go.One step in front of another, trisha, down the path of submission to him.Now, I could feel a lightness inside me, a lifting of clouds, ofpessimism, of darkness and weight, as I decided, one small step at attime, to be free, just let it go, the shame and moralizing andberating.....and my thoughts.
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